ice sculptures | Zoo Koo

The weekend before school started, my mom invited us all to Macau for some family fun. And wouldn’t you know it, that’s just what we had. While the best fun was had fantasizing about the most inspired ways to exterminate the maddening swarms of Chinese tourists in the Venetian, the funniest photos were taken when we went, utterly unprepared attire-wise, to see the ice-carving exhibit, which is held in an exhibition space chilled to a glacial minus 8 degrees Celsius.

Having ceded my sneakers to my daughter who had only brought sandals, I wore flip-flops and capri length exercise pants. Hypothermia be damned!

Dressed in the warmest clothing we’d all brought to Macau for a short weekend in the middle of the tropical summer heat, we happily set off across the Venetian continent, to find the ice-carving show, located in Exhibit Hall F. To get there, we had to traverse this:

Vavavavoom!

We couldn’t quite figure out why they would march throngs of families with young (and not-so-young) children past the ‘Asia Adult Expo’. Did they think we would think to nip inside the Adult Expo exhibits and fortify ourselves against the impending arctic temperatures with the hotness of the attractions within? Or, were they hoping that we would emerge so frostbitten from the tundra-like conditions of the ice carving exhibit that we would be unable to resist the allure of even the skimpiest of extra layers?

It’s a mystery.

We Koos and Tsiens marched intrepidly and with eyes averted, straight past the Adult Expo and into the minus-8-degree Celsius ice show.

It’s clear to me that the subzero conditions immediately froze my kids’ brains into solid chunks of useless matter because the first photo I took was this:

Dumb and Dumber.

Gayle and Philip still retained some neural function because at least they thought to share body heat.

“Baby, it’s cold outside…”

The East is Red… like National Education would even make a dent in these noggins.

Cool cousins!

Just grateful no one’s licking anything.

“Mom! Take a picture of me with this mushroom!” (Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to freeze our butts off, taking weird pictures of green kids.)

Have they just summitted Everest? Crossed the Delaware? Reached the South Pole? It’s anyone’s guess.

Grace, thy name is Joey.

The latest in robotic arm replacements. Almost life-like.

Proof the apples don’t fall far from the tree.

Definitely explains the Dumb and Dumber thing. Not my side of the family.

Nicky chapping his butt on the ice slide.

For once, Joey is the straight man. The bratty kid sister strikes again.

An actual nice photo!

By now, my bare feet feel as though they might snap off without me even realizing. Joey, realizing that I’m hitting a danger point, gallantly takes off his shoes and forces me to put them on; he continues on in his stockinged feet. His shoes feel like lifeboats — both in the life-saving and boat-like aspects.